Muse magazine

"jezebel’s VPL"

In contrast to my other (more insightful and critical) coverage of local music, this column is a ‘frocking funny show and tell” – casual chats with the who’s you of local, independent music. Muse is one of the few print publications dedicated to the burgeoning gifts of original South African sound.

role: columnist

since: March 2009

column 1

A frocking funny Show & Tell.

For starters, we pick on Nicolai Roos because s/he is as good at first times as jezebel is. As the finger licking geetarist for The Sleepers, Nicola(i) likes a little lace in the right place. (The Sleepers have just launched their too-long awaited debut album “A Signal Path”.) Nic arrived hung over.

jezebel : Esquire, you say, eh? Esquooze me? Whaddaya think VPL stands for?

Nicolai : Very personal letter.

Huh?

Llll-um.

“Llum”? Is that Gaelic for something rude?

Lump! It stands for Very Personal Lump.

What would you do if you had one?

What – a very personal lump? Um. Idunno, I’d show it to people I feel comfortable with.

Uh. Ok. What do think of columnists?

Well. I haven’t met many.

So you don’t think anything of them?

No, I think more of them than they think of me. They put themselves up for... they’re brave.

Or stupid.

Sometimes it’s the same thing.

Have you ever dressed in drag?

Oh. Yeah.

How many times?

Jeez. How many times have I been drunk this year? A lot.

What do you think of granny panties?

Very uncomfortable.

For whom?

I actually think if worn right they can be hot.

What? Like on a naked person’s arm?

Ja. Like a helmet.

Right. I saw the rugby team-

So hot.

No, but-

(interrupts with a scary voice) “The most erotic thing you can do in shorts.” I saw Matt Damon the other day. They’re shooting up my road.

Matt Damon shooting up? I thought he was dead.

Dead? He’s playing François fucking Pienaar. It’s all about the 95 rugby world cup. I’m sorry, but you’re a journalist, you should know this

Well, what I was TRYING to say was I saw them today on the front page of a newspaper, but they’re standing on Table Mountain with their fists across their chests.

I’m sorry that just makes me think of star trek.

But don’t you think it’s good PR?

I don’t think people could’ve seen them up there.

Don’t you think rugby nationalism can change the country?

Ja. It can bring Clint Eastwood to Africa. Idunno, I grew up with parents who hated sport.

Do you hate your parents, anymore?

Uhm no. neither do I hate them any less.

Have you ever seen your mum in her panties?

Granny panties.

You saw her in her granny panties. Is that where you got your ideas for drag from?

No, well, actually… oh, no. I don’t think... um… well, when I was four or five my sister forced me into a leotard because she’d just seen the rocky horror picture show.

How old was she?

Ten. Ja, I was watching Freddy Kruger then. Freaked me out, but my parents insisted on it.

Would you ever wear granny panties on stage?

How do you know I haven’t?

Ok I don’t. But it’s not like you dress like guy from Boo! who used to.

I don’t have the legs for it. … (Takes a sip of his (second) G&T in ten minutes. But Simon…

Very passionate lyricist. Maybe we’ll get him next time. Hey - if you type VPL into Firefox, you get Vancouver Public Library.

Ok, last try! VPL stands for Vests panties and long johns.

Not far from the truth, esquire.

Escquooz me?

column 2

Shot through the heart – a pretty blue tit-for-tat

The best thing about secret sneak previews is that I get to walk around with the future in my head. But anyone who has heard the The Pretty Blue Guns would agree, there’s no VPL in their bloody garage tales. So because we know they bruise easily and heal quickly, Jezebel tested the tasty vocalist, Andre Leo, with a few licks of her own…

jezebel : What’s so funny bout peace love and understanding?
pretty andre : Nothing.

What’s so pretty about being blue?
Everything.

If you could choose the cabinet who would you put where?
Arts & culture- Nick Cave & Jack White
Education- Tom Waits, Lucas Swart (their drummer!)
Economic development and tourism- Mick Jagger (he actually studied ecos)
But politics isn't really my thing.

What’s life without stilettos?
A lot more down to earth.

First album. Some more emo musos I know have claimed it’s like having a baby backwards (as if they have a clue). But surely putting down your debut is like being reborn?
Really? They say said? That’s the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's a great yet nerve-wracking experience. The hardest part is knowing when to stop. Luckily we had a great producer, Schalk Joubert, to help us out. Otherwise we might've sat around for ages banging kitchen appliances and animal bones trying to be Tom Waits.
But we do feel a certain sense of being 'reborn' as a band. The canvas is clean. With this album, we're really putting ourselves on the floor for the rest of the country to interpret any way they choose. Maybe that's where the 'having a baby backwards' feeling comes in?

It’s the end of the world. You’re making a run for it. What do you take?
The end of the world as in the Biblical sense? Fire and Brimstone? In that case I’d grab an iPod and put on Tom Waits' 'Make it Rain', "open up the Heavens, make it rain!" would be quite an epic way to meet your maker don’t' you think?

Indie and blues. Strange combination, but you’ve cornered the market. It’s kind of a generation clash, almost. Was it always your ulterior motive to put the gorgeous young girls and hairy old men in bars together, or is that just one of the better side effects of your sound?

Ha-ha, we didn't ever have a plan as to what sound we want. It's just metamorphasized into this sound. We don't like to limit ourselves. This album has elements of Blues, Indie, Country, Punk and a lot of Garage. So it gives us the opportunity of doing pretty much anything we want next. We don't wanna make the same album twice, ya know?

How have the dynamics been in the studio?

It's been such a groove. This album has got all our blood, sweat and tears on. Jurgen at Sunset Studios and Schalk really believed in the music which was great motivation. The vibe was very straightforward with all parties telling each other “that was complete shit man” or “yep, that's it, bitch!” which was cool because everyone was always on the same page. We've been friends for ages and have a great chemistry, but the connection between us and Schalk and Jurgen is what really made everything so cool.

Stellenbosch is your oyster – where to now?

Stellenbosch is a good place to keep your head at. National tours will be plentiful. We definitely wanna travel over the seas at some stage. We’ve met some great people and bands on our travels, so there's always a floor to sleep on and a bottle to pass around.

A lady never spells out her acronym, so in your private universe, what would VPL stand for?
Very Private Lounge?

Parting thoughts?

"How's this for Armageddon?" he said with half a smile.

"Watching the world through a Mad Man's eyes, while they try to sit you down and make it worth your while."

column 3

Southpaw’s lastborn on NLP, VPL, and the relative metaphor

Like every funking and flowing lefty in Southpaw, softpaw Daniel Roach is prone to his own extremes. The guitarist from the soul rock band of brothers and cousins is well named, too - a catchy combination of dreamy prophet and nocturnal pest. Chuck the artist’s cliché at him and it sticks. Until you actually chat to the man. But because of an abiding (albeit romantic) belief that there’s always more to an artist than an over-easy stereotype, jezebel cornered his alter egos and pitched them against each other. The results? Not quite a serenade in G, but had it been a thumb war, it would’ve been a draw…

Shades, Daniel? Inside?

Mm.

Why “Roach”?

Why Roach? I don’t know - I think it’s pretty cool. In the beginning, they would make fun of me - the idiots at school, the monkeys. But I had a tight circle of friends and a big family. Now I like it. It sounds good. And it’s not so common.

Ja, like good music. Speaking of which, you related to the African Dope-master, Roach?

No.

Is there anyone you wish you weren’t related to?

Julius Malema.

Hey? How are you related to him?

He’s human. I fail to understand how he makes the grade.

But you voted, surely? Is your vote mark still there?

Ja, on my broken thumb.

That’s pretty mangled. Was the nail always broken?

Yup, since I was four.

It wasn’t from a musical accident?

No.

Then it didn’t happen on stage, Hendrix style.

Well, if I hadn’t injured my thumb I could’ve used my thumb while playing.

Oh ja - because you’re a lefty.

Ja. I could’ve strummed with my thumbnail like this [demonstrates]. My brother, Steph, uses his thumb that way. But I found my way around it. It’s part of who I am now.

All four of you are lefties, right?

Well, Newton (bassist) is actually ambidextrous. I think I went left handed coz my dad is.

No, man, it’s genetic.

Yes but I’ve activated it - the left-handed gene.

Aha. Yes. Self-actualisation. You’re into NLP. What does it stand for again?

Neuro-linguistic Programming. Modelling excellence.

What a mouthful. Is it about pathways to consciousness?

It’s about subjective experience. Coz it’s all metaphor. You change your metaphor, you change your experience.

Same way you change your cigarette brand or your underwear?

For some people wearing specific underwear puts them in a specific state, yeah. Some people if you put them in a Tanga, they feel like porn star.

So do you wear Tangas?

Occasionally. Do you mind if I take my shoes off?

As long as your feet don’t smell.

Musicians. Aren’t very hygienic people. My music is more important. I can wear the same T-shirt for a whole week. Unless I sweat in it.

In which case you’ll just go around topless. Would that be in good taste?

Mm. like olives.

You like olives?

I love olives. I’d take one over a strawberry any day.

What does this say about your personality?

Looks can be deceiving.

Even good looks?

Ag. Good looks is good looks.

Aesthete. What is vanity?

[A sense of] Superiority.

Aha. Let’s Google you. Zero to vanity in… 0.07 seconds

[Pointing to a pale-faced redhead in the image search results] Ah, look. That’s not a good shot of me.

I can smell your feet, Daniel.

Are you sure it’s not your feet?

Yes. I have shoes on. What do you think VPL stands for?

How about Very Pink Lingerie? Is that OK?

That’s just fine.

Do you HAVE pink lingerie?

Hey who’s asking the questions here?

Is that a “yes”? You should get some.

We’re finished now.

At least you can’t smell my feet anymore. What do you call a black man flying a plane?

I don’t know, what?

A pilot, you fucking racist.